Two of my purpose pillars ❤️
I am a corporate hippie from way back. I love the thrill of running a business, the pragmatism required for important decisions, and the stress of waiting for the P&L to print off at the end of the month. However I also love my mother nature. I was raised on a farm by hard working, animal loving parents. They taught me to dream big, bite off more than you can chew, and chew like mad. My Mum is the doTerra essential oils business leader, yoga teaching, alkaline water drinking hippie and the current inspiration for the new side hustle I have just become super passionate about - DoTerra Essential Oils.
Trying to tie the hippie me and the business me together has been exhausting - my whole career!! I have never quite been able to straddle the paradoxes well and hold my personal brand together. Its cause me stress. Much stress.
People have recently started to comment - people who care about me. They notice the strain, or the sadness under my “business face” and they comment, and yet I say “Nah, I’m fine!!” - what a lie!!
To be honest, I am burned out, highly stressed and not at all feeling like my best self. I have the best job in the world, the most amazingly committed fiancé (can’t wait to marry him!!), beautiful children and friends, yet I am putting on weight and have been using the regular 2-3 glasses of wine a night to tune it all out.
This week I did something different. I took a week off, and I fully immersed myself into some personal development work.
I sat in a workshop today, centred around emotions and today, I reached some emotions that I have been deadening for a really long time.
I realised that my whole belief system is a series of paradoxes. I’ve been trying to balance these beliefs, with not much success and it’s worn me down.
For the longest time have known my career conflicted with my belief system but I kept on “pursuing the next block, the block was dead, to!!, so I continued to A1A Beach Front Avenue!!”. Wait what?!...sorry, as I was saying....
I believe my top 3, most important values, in order are:
I want to be vibrant! I want to people to say “I want what she’s having” not “I wonder if she’s ok!!” Or “She looks like she could do with a drink!”.
My work after this week is to focus on what I love, what lights me up. I can do business and hippie, and in fact HealthEngine and the future of Australian Health will be better because I am on my A game, filling my life, leading with purpose.
How do you feel about the trade off’s you have to make in your life? How can you create your life to combine your passions and avoid the trade offs?
As soon as I sat down to watch ‘Diana Our Mother’ on TV, I knew I had to share my thoughts on her.
Diana was the same age as me. She would be 56 had she not died tragically that night 20 years ago in Paris. I remember vividly the moment I heard the news on the radio. I was working alone in our small business which involved customer service and for the rest of my shift I was inconsolable. It seemed the whole world was in shock for months. Theories about conspiracy to assassinate her were and still are making headlines but the reality remains that Diana was taken too soon and will be forever young in our memories.
Diana was an inspiration to many young women back in the 80’s. From the way she wore her hair to the clothes she dressed herself and her boys in, we pawed over every magazine who had the sense to put her on the cover. She was big news.
Imagine her now. Imagine the type of woman she would be. When I imagine her today, I see a woman who has the ability to change world views. I see her thriving in Grand Motherhood, immersing herself in her love for George and Charlotte. I see her as a friend and mentor to her daughter in-law, Catherine and soon to be daughter in-law Megan. I’m sure Catherine would have had the utmost support from Diana in her Royal role and Megan would have been welcomed with open arms. But mostly, I see Diana as one of the most influential woman of this Century. I speak of her as though she could have been my BFF. I loved her. I loved everything about her and I mourned her death.
As Diana’s sons grew up, one can’t help but be proud of these men she nurtured as boys. It proves that empathy and compassion are virtues instilled as young children. William and Harry are Diana’s legacy and they have inherited her sense of duty to the people while staying very Royal. Everyone has an opinion on the Royal Family. Like them or loath them, they seem to give hope and stability to a wild and unpredictable world. I stand proudly as a supporter of The Royals and look forward to this fresh generation gaining acceptance from the broader community. I’m very grateful for the 20 year anniversary insight into William and Harry’s memories of their mother, as they now share a duty to keep Diana’s memory alive for future generations.
In memory of an extraordinary woman.
Christine - MotherWise
As a little girl I watched my mother choose the burnt toast, lamb chops, pancakes or anything else that didn’t make the grade with us kids. It’s really hard for me to write about my mother because of the guilt I feel for not being totally grateful for my ‘Princess’ upbringing.
My Mum lived for her four children and would sacrifice anything it seemed, to give us everything she thought we needed.
So why do I have a hang up about my Mum? What did I learn from her giving to us before herself?
The very fact that she didn’t think enough of herself to insist on some of the good stuff some of the time taught me that grown up women don’t really deserve the best. Funny thing is, I didn’t realise this until well into my married life. I too, took on that role of sacrificial lamb. The one that didn’t get a hair cut because money was tight so I was our family hair dresser. The one that always made sure my husband got the best cut of meat on his plate. I became my mother living a life of resentment because I didn’t want to settle for second best but I thought it was the way a good mother and wife should be.
I’ve already mentioned that my Princess life gave me little to complain about so I felt it my duty to suck up the resentment and carry on pretending to be the authentic giving Mother. Somewhere along the line in time, I began to see that if I continued to put myself last all the time, my daughters would lack self respect and my son, as a man, may take on an inflated sense of entitlement. You see, I was the only one putting myself in that situation, so I was the only one who could make the change.
Little by little I began to treat myself better. I looked after my health. I insisted on doing things that made my heart sing. I educated myself so I could start my own business. I worked ON my marriage rather than IN it. I listened to wise women that had followed a path of self love. My self esteem grew and I was proud of myself. By doing this, my daughters now know that they are worthy of a Princess Life. They accept with grace and gratitude the care and pampering their partners offer. My son understands that his wife will not be an old fashioned cook and clean stay at home Mum. He knows that at some stage he could be Mr Mum.
Women are great role models for both boys and girls. When we choose self respect we are enabling the next generation to embrace their own self worth and demand respect from others.
So don't eat the burnt toast. Claim some time for yourself and learn to live the life of your dreams!
Be the change you want to see in the world!
With Love, Christine T - Mother Wise
They come to us with no expectations. Their basic needs can be met by anyone, but the love of a mother figure seems essential for them to flourish.
Can Mother love be replaced by a father?
What's the damage if you're not feeling the love?
How will they know you are trying your best?
Well, I believe it's in your eyes, your touch and the way you speak to them.
I also believe a great father with genuine, all in commitment, can love and mentor their child to adulthood.
Can you fake this stuff?
I think it's worth a try. The alternative is likely to manifest into problems fairly quickly.
These are some topics close to my heart and I'm super close to getting more blog posts out.
Haha! Who'd have thought?
Keep an eye out - our website is in construction but will soon be fully functional with more ramblings like this.🌷
With love CT x
While contexts change, as humans our joys are the same and our hurts are the same. I wrote this post about 6 months ago, after losing our baby at the 18 week mark, and finally finding the courage to see that there were in fact just as many yummy lovely emotions as there were dark and sad ones. This is a taste of some of the topics you will read about here, and a good reminder for anyone who has ever lost a baby (or a few like us), you never forget, but it does get easier if you continue to see the light, and let go of the sad. xx Lori
AJ and I were sitting in the waiting room of the women's imaging place, a little shocked that we were pregnant again.
This was the fourth time in 2 years we had fallen pregnant. Each time was an accident (thats right folks, it is not safe to use the same toilet in our place!!). Its seems that AJ and I are ‘da bomb at bumping uglies to create a baby, but for some reason our odds of me being able to bake them to the end are not so great.
Each time that hadn’t worked out, we justified our loss by saying “lucky, because we weren’t really ready” or “we haven't saved enough, lucky it didn’t work” or “maybe it was too soon after the last anyway”. The reality was we were ready and wanted every single baby we had lost.
When Rhea made her presence known via the little blue line on the stick, we were truely shocked. We were really distant from each other at that stage, and definitely not “making love”, let alone bumping uglies frequently enough to be making a baby. I swear we would have only had sex twice since the last miscarriage. So while we were shocked, we were not unhappy. We so desperately wanted this little unplanned stowaway.
The sonographer called my name, introduced herself as Heidi. Heidi led us to the same room where they had told us our last baby had died. Immediately all the emotions came flooding back. I was feeling really positive, so absolutely blindsided by the fear that immediately started messing with my hopeful vibe. I consciously pulled myself together, acknowledged my fear but mowed over it. I said "this room has bad memories for us, let's hope today we make some really great new ones". Heidi smiled and said “I’m sorry to hear that. Yes let's!".
"How pregnant are you?" she asked. "Oh, about 6 weeks I think”. She put the warm lube on my tummy and immediately the screen filled up with really busy arms and legs!! “Holy Sh*t!” I said!! I couldn’t help it, and I knew straight away that those were not the arms and legs of a 6 week old embryo. Heidi smiled and said “Ahhhh, by the look of that little body, I would say you are a bit further along than 6 weeks!”. She measured the little head to rump distance and confirmed that we were 10.5 weeks pregnant. I immediately teared up and squeezed AJ's hand. We were both amazed. That little heart was beating flat out and the little body was oh so busy!!
In that split second, right there, I fell in love. This tiny little thing on the screen was so loved, so welcome and so wanted from that very second. In that moment I didn’t know she wouldn’t make it. I didn’t even know she was a “she” at that moment.
There will be more stories about the fact she didn’t make it, and about all the other interlocking parts - but that moment of hope, aspiration and pure love was so yummy that it needed to be my first post here.
It’s really easy to get consumed, lost even in other big emotions like fear, grief and loss. The yummy emotions deserve air time too and finding Rhea that very first time was equal parts hope, aspiration and pure love that I want to revisit when the big emotions become all too much.
Do you have a yummy moment you can recall before your loss? Share with me xx