Don't eat the burnt toast

As a little girl I watched my mother choose the burnt toast, lamb chops, pancakes or anything else that didn’t make the grade with us kids.  It’s really hard for me to write about my mother because of the guilt I feel for not being totally grateful for my ‘Princess’ upbringing.
My Mum lived for her four children and would sacrifice anything it seemed, to give us everything she thought we needed.  

So why do I have a hang up about my Mum?  What did I learn from her giving to us before herself?

The very fact that she didn’t think enough of herself to insist on some of the good stuff some of the time taught me that grown up women don’t really deserve the best.  Funny thing is, I didn’t realise this until well into my married life.  I too, took on that role of sacrificial lamb.  The one that didn’t get a hair cut because money was tight so I was our family hair dresser.  The one that always made sure my husband got the best cut of meat on his plate.  I became my mother living a life of resentment because I didn’t want to settle for second best but I thought it was the way a good mother and wife should be.

I’ve already mentioned that my Princess life gave me little to complain about so I felt it my duty to suck up the resentment and carry on pretending to be the authentic giving Mother. Somewhere along the line in time, I began to see that if I continued to put myself last all the time, my daughters would lack self respect and my son, as a man, may take on an inflated sense of entitlement.  You see, I was the only one putting myself in that situation, so I was the only one who could make the change.  

Little by little I began to treat myself better.  I looked after my health.  I insisted on doing things that made my heart sing.  I educated myself so I could start my own business.  I worked ON my marriage rather than IN it.  I listened to wise women that had followed a path of self love.  My self esteem grew and I was proud of myself.  By doing this, my daughters now know that they are worthy of a Princess Life.  They accept with grace and gratitude the care and pampering their partners offer.  My son understands that his wife will not be an old fashioned cook and clean stay at home Mum.  He knows that at some stage he could be Mr Mum.

Women are great role models for both boys and girls.  When we choose self respect we are enabling the next generation to embrace their own self worth and demand respect from others.  

So don't eat the burnt toast. Claim some time for yourself and learn to live the life of your dreams!

Be the change you want to see in the world!
With Love, Christine T - Mother Wise

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